I have a wonderful life. We all do. I know I have been blessed. I think of those I love who have really been faced with trials. The really hard life stuff. Sick babies, sick children, death of family and friends, loss of jobs and homes. I have my life intertwined with those who have the tough stuff. And sometimes, when I think of the challenges I have been faced with I know it doesn't even scrape the surface of what challenges others have gone through. And those, they are so strong. They transcend. Forever changed.
I suppose that's all life is. Every path is different. For each person who walks their own, it presents its own challenges. It isn't fair to compare because theirs is theirs and yours is yours. Each is difficult in its own right. It is the outlook you choose along the way.
My Mom gave me a big compliment the other day. She said "You are the engine." WOW! I had never thought of myself that way - I love it! That has been stuck in my head and I just think it was so accurate. Well, even though I am sure she meant it as a compliment - it could be taken two ways. The good: You drive. You push. You pull. You are the force the keeps chugging no matter how heavy the load. You don't stop. Then, maybe the not so good... I don't slow. I enjoy the view, but at a fast pace. My head spinning as the scene passes me by. I don't smell the roses. And, I may run over things that get in my way.... eek... that sounds really bad. But, sometimes the truth is brutal. I have always thought that a sure way to get me to do something is to tell me I can't, because I know I can. I will find a way. Life has been good to me. But, as life will have it, it isn't without its curve balls. And that is ok, because that is what life is about. The twists and turns and the unexpected. Some are blessings because they are gifts and the others are blessing because they are life lessons. Stumbling, tripping, falling - but always getting back up, stronger and wiser than before. Through and through, I chug along (maybe mumbling and grumbling along the way) but I will get there. Some days I win. Some days life gets the better of me. But, I am working always on the balance.
Can I be a slow engine? One that is always moving but not too fast?? Can I be the focused engine, passionately driven to catch professional goals? Then when it comes to the every day, Can I be the mom and son waving and clapping from the park at the train rushing by? Can you have both? Is there a balance? Maybe this is a working Mom theme / conflict? I don't know... Something to work towards, I guess :)