I read a post by Amy Kolz on Wednesday - holy tears. Check it out: 'I gotchu'. It left me thinking about me and B, sadly missing my little man. He is visiting family in Virginia - I wrote about it, My Heart is in Virginia.
It brought me back to my stroller days, struggling and juggling more than I could carry or manoeuvre but as a Mom, you manage, always. It's a job requirement. I thought about B being little enough for me to push in a stroller. He doesn't want that any more. He wants to walk (or run) every where we go. Insisting always on "NeNe do it". He wants to climb into the carseat and clip the straps together, unaided. He doesn't want my help. So, I patiently smile and let his little fingers fumble and eventually get it lined up just right - then he will let me help (just a little) give a light push to make sure it snaps in place. Then we celebrate his independence, "What a big boy! You did it all by yourself!" All while my heart aches at the time passing by too quickly.
Brayden is two and a half now. He is intentionally and sincerely more affectionate. He will say he loves you, without you saying it first. He is always asking me if I am ok, "K Mommy? You K Mommy?" Always making sure that I am not struggling or hurting, be it carrying in a ton of groceries or if I stub my toe or bump my knee. He is always there with that perfect little smile and a kiss for my boo boo. So as much as I miss my little baby and my stroller days, I love this becoming-a-big-boy time too. He is always close by for a hug around my knees and a smooch on the lips. I know that those moments will pass too quickly - I don't even want to think about him being a teenager... So, I may try to make him stop growing right where he is... Can I do that?? ;)
This week, I have had more freedom and time then I could ever know what to do with - and I don't like it. For all of the challenges that come with being a parent, especially a single parent, there are 1000 times more rewards. I wouldn't trade seeing that smile everyday for all of the free time in the world. Never. Ever.
Only a few more days before he is back at my side, and I can't wait. But, he is having so much fun. See the pictures below that his Dad sent me (he is really good about that - I still get to see all of the fun he is having).