I made a commitment to myself this year. I disassociate with those who are negative, at least to the best of my ability. Some people are in our lives without say. It is how you choose to let them influence, or more importantly, the lack of influence that matters. I have also determined that I set a standard for myself. This standard always existed but I didn't live it. This new focus was fueled by a quote I found on pinterest - and, no matter what form I see it in - I pin it. It is profound, but so incredibly simple (the best ideas usually are).
"Surround yourself with only those who are going to lift you higher" ~Oprah~
I think I remember seeing that show. I can recall the magnitude of that statement. Because, even 10 years ago when I heard it originally, that is what I wanted for myself - but, I didn't follow through. I surrounded myself with those who I thought I could lift higher. I could help. I could make them better by helping them see their own value. However, I am learning that I was brought down by focusing on trying to lift them up. It wasn't their fault. It was mine. I focused so much on pleasing others that I lost myself in the process. This ends now. An incredible amount of growth comes from self intraspection and reflection. To be honest - my gut always knew - but, I listened to my heart, which is too big at times. This didn't mean that I got hurt - it usually meant others got hurt. I would realize that I was living a life other than what I wanted for myself and I would back out. Not because I didn't care, but because at some point I listened to my gut. My gut is usually right.
I promised myself this year, no more compromising. No more giving more to others than I give to myself - with the obvious exception of Brayden - but that is a given, it goes without saying. Healthy parents put their children first.
I have met some really incredible people. Actually, there are a few who helped encourage me to realize this goal before I completely absorbed the impact of that way of life. And the many who support me, they don't realize the amount of influence they have had on me. They do it by lifting me higher. They do it through encouragement and support. They are the arms that push me when I doubt myself. And, they point out how I can do better. Not because they are critical but because they know I can, and will.
This year, I do this for me. And ultimately, I do this for Brayden. I will be the example of a strong, confident, loving women. The type of qualities I want for him - and the qualities I want him to seek out in a partner someday. It is also interesting, the more you surround yourself with these people - you also become that same type. People will surround themselves with you because you lift them. Can you imagine a world that always did this? What a great place that would be.
So for now, make your own little world of people who raise you up and lift you a little bit higher. And, be that influence on others that makes them want to surrounds themselves with you.
Happy Friday and Have a wonderful weekend!