I reference Mark and Angel often on here. I find their writing and insight thought provoking and attitude altering. Today's post is 6 Reasons Someone Wishes They Were You. Go read it (after this one of course).
Before I blog, I often mull a topic over for a few days. I get the premise of what I want it to say and I visually type it out in my mind. I have been thinking for a few days about my own happiness and my own contentment in the day to day. It is interesting to me that a year ago, my life was in a completely different place. It was without John and the comforts of his companionship, but I was happy and content with where my life was. I was evolving into a person that was learning the comforts of my own skin. I didn't have everything that I wanted, but I absolutely had everything I needed - our basic needs were met: work, apartment, food, entertainment, photography... Most importantly, I had Brayden and our health. Now, in this short time, our lives have had a major shift - and it hasn't always been easy - but we are so happy.
We are planning this wedding - oh my, what an exciting, frustrating, time consuming, costly, momentous event this is. I love it and curse it all in the same breathe. A friend said to me the other day that I will miss the planning... I told her she was nuts. But, I assume she is right. She has been there before - maybe there will be some parts of me that will miss the excitement and the nerves of planning for the event that puts us on the course of 'for the rest of our lives.' John and I explore buying a home where we will start our family, and we dream about that growing family - picking names for both boys and girls, and how their name and their being will carry on parts of our history. In the today, I could easily say we are content with our lives, but it is much more than that. I feel we are far beyond contentment. We are so blessed with our everyday life. Sure, more money and a bigger house would be fantastic. But, we are comfortable - we both work really hard to provide for our everyday and we save for what we want for the future. We dream. We dream near and distant futures. I dream big, John dreams realistically. I know exactly what I want to be doing by the time I am 55. There are many, many things that need to happen in these 25 years but I believe no matter what course we take we will end up at one single all-encompassing destination, happiness.
Speaking of happiness, look at the source of mine.
This happiness, it reaches far beyond the depths of my soul. I now know that I always dreamed of this little man - even in my younger days when I said I didn't even want kids. I think I always knew that I did. I think I always knew that someday, God would give me Brayden. In Brayden, I found the true meaning of love and happiness, in responsibility and work. I learned how to live life because I had to live it for him, with him. I got to spend one of these recent few sunny beautiful days with him. We planted flowers, played in the yard, hung a bird feeder, and practiced being ninjas and superheros. I laugh at the conversations I have with this little man. He loved planting flowers. Without prompting, he knew exactly what these plants needed. He said to me (as we were getting ready to transfer them from one container to the next) "these flowers will be so happy in their new home. Now all they need is love.... and water." I stand smiling, nearly crying. Where?... How?... When did he become so smart, and grown up? His intelligence far exceeds his age. He is right. It is what we all need. A place to feel at home and a little love... and water too :)
In this life we lead, be more than content. Thrive. Live on the thrill of the little feet we chase and the noses and bottoms we wipe. Breath in the air, rainy or sunny - they each have their own distinct beauty. Learn from the past. dream for the future. live for today - beyond the contentment. Live and love with excitement, like a 3 year old :)