It's hard, ya know, looking back. It's hard to think of the years that have gone past. I accidentally stumbled on a movie I made for LB for his birthday. I was at work and was trying to watch a video about arch welding (exciting stuff)! But, for some reason, the Lord decided I needed to stop for a minute and have some reflection time. And, he was right. Brayden and I have tough days... which I am sure is completely normal. He's 2 - enough said! He spends most days learning what his limits are. Be it, giving his independence a try or to see how far he can push his mama's patience. I often stop myself and say out loud to him,"You are lucky you're cute!" We have been getting along so wonderfully, lately. He is still a stinker but we are both so happy. This video - I will post if I can figure out how - It covers ultrasound pictures, belly bump (really big belly bumps) to tiny baby, to not so tiny baby, to toddler. All I can do is ask myself, "When did all of this happen? Where did my baby go?" Each passing day has me holding for dear life onto that little boy. I ask him daily if he can please just stop where he is at. I have been asking him since he was just a bump in my belly, "I will NEVER ask for anything from you in my entire life if you can just do one thing for me. Please, don't grow up. Stay perfect and tiny and with your mom FOREVER!"
It reminds me of a story I heard. A lady I worked with was visiting her daughters collage campus. The daughter said to her mom' "I think I want to live on campus, instead of commute." Then mom looks at her daughter nodding in agreement. "That's fine. Let's talk to your dad and start looking at 2 bedroom apartments." Daughter looks at her mom, confused. "Two bedroom?" Mom saying profoundly, "well yes. There has to be enough room for the both of us!" B and I will be having that same discussion some day. Where ever he goes, I will just go too! I can't wait to see how that works out!
So. As much as I ache, long, cry, beg, plead for him to stay little. I know deep down I am just as excited to see all of the things he will do. And, with each new event in his life I will pray for a freeze frame hoping to hold onto that moment for just a little longer. Those times in my life will keep me looking back at how far we have come and what a blessed life we have. How truly fortunate we are to have eachother and our family. We will keep moving forward with a semi-reluctant smile and looking back with tears in our eyes.